Shaun H. Ruff

Why Women Love Bad Guys?

Yes, many women are attracted to bad guys. But does it mean you have to change your attitude and convert into a badass? Not really. Here are five explanations for why and when ladies may fall in love with a bad boy.


Fit and gorgeous

Bad guys have sex appeal. They activate primary instincts. It is commonly known that many brutal machos turn out to be romantic guys who keep their childhood teddy bears and their first love letters. But the way they act in public impresses some ladies, especially very young ones. Women over 27 are rarely attracted by bad guys. Even if mature free and single for dating ladies fall in love with a guy like that – that is rather an echo of some of the early emotional experiences.

Mama, I’m in love with a criminal

Bad guys create a feeling of an unbelievable story in women. Look at all those fairy tales for little girls! They are all about princesses and robbers, lady and the tramp, beauty and the beast, and so on. Most love novels and movies also construct specific scenarios of relationships in minds of women. Bad guys help them live an adventure, which they secretly hope will resemble a fairy tale. However, in the long run, all women and men search stability in their relationships. In such cases, bad guys do not last long.

Beauty in a castle of a beast

Bad guys may create destructive dependencies. A relationship with a bad guy may turn out to be not that pleasant for a woman as it seems to be. However, many people, especially women, fall into a trap of dependency on a destructive relationship. They are not decisive enough to break up with a cheater or a narcissist. This type of dependency is constructed on the woman´s feeling of responsibility for the relationship or childhood images of her parents’ relationship. In the worst cases, this may lead to home violence. Yet, there is no guarantee that a good guy in the society is not a bad guy at home.

I’m not as bad if he is worse

Bad guys’ conduct justifies good girls’ insecurities. If a woman is afraid that her partner will abandon her, she sometimes unconsciously chooses a womanizer or a cheater. In this way, she reaffirms that he leaves her because he is a bad guy and not because he does not love her. That is why some women are especially attracted to men with whom no sustainable long relationship is potentially possible. Such ladies describe it as “bad luck with men”, but these are their own choices.

Don’t judge a book by its cover

Bad guys often turn out to be not that bad. It does not mean that they change. No. That would be an illusion. However, although they act like bad guys, women often fall in love with their light side. A bad guy in public may turn out to be a loving husband, a caring father, and a loyal partner at home. Beware, however, of “perfect” guys as they are more likely to be a Pandora box.

There are many factors that determine why some women love bad guys. From what the society tells them to their own deeply hidden emotional issues. In the end, though, she will probably prefer a reliable and respectful partner rather than some cartoon villain.

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